What’s Your Biggest Fear?
Everybody has a fear of something.
I train with some great martial artists and boxers who have huge courage but admit that they dread speaking in public. I also know very talented IT engineers who are so frightened of exams that they never take them. They would rather suffer a huge drop in income then face the exam.
What is fear though and what can we do about it?
There have been many experts and gurus who have examined fear in great detail. If you want to read what they think then the two people I recommend are Susan Jeffers and Geoff Thompson. You can Google both of them.
You have heard I’m sure that fear stands for False Evidence Appearing Real however does that really help us do something about it?
Interestingly – A Course in Miracles says that ‘The opposite of love is?fear’ and that ‘all fear is self created.’ That really struck me because if we create our own fear then it means fear isn’t ‘out there’ but ‘inside here.’
Sure, we are bound to have a physical response to an impending attack or a fall from a great height but fear of stuff like flying, dying, speaking or exams is all self generated.
Of course, in these few words I can hardly tackle all fears but I wanted to get you thinking about your fears and how you use your mind to create images of things going badly wrong for you and how thoughts create feelings which creates the dread we feel around our fears.
Most fears come down to fear of failure, rejection by others and death. If we realise that in our lives we are going to fail, be laughed at by others and at the end die the we may come to the realisation that we have nothing to fear after all.
Paul Browning
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15 Comments
My biggest fear is getting things wrong. I feel scared of making mistakes to the point I am paralysed with not doing anything about situations and … you guess it, I make a mistake. The fear of making the mistake is worse than actually making the mistake itself.
As someone who has been through depression in the past (stress related through university) – Susan Jeffers book on Feeling the Fear and doing it anyway has helped lots. No matter what happens in life, you have to turn round and say – I CAN HANDLE IT.
Can you?
Cheers,
Chris P
fear of …. what?
Hmmm. I’ve always maintained I’m not afraid of anything. But then perhaps I see fear as an irrational thought process and perhaps I just excuse what is really a fear as just something I can’t control.
So. Am I afraid of dying? Absolutely not as like taxes it’s guaranteed.
Am I afraid of being mugged? Again no – why should I let the thought that I might be mugged control my life. If it happens then I’ll deal with it then – there’s no point in letting it cause me stress or undue worry now.
But then maybe that’s my approach. I’m laid back. Some would say too laid back and my wife will tell you that “I don’t do stress, I just react”. Is that good or bad? I don’t know.
There are two things in this world I have concerns about …. again not something that controls my life…
1. That my children will die before me
2. That I’ll be in an accident and someone will put a plaster on a cut without my consent because I’m unabel to respond. Why? I’m highly allergic to them and could go into septic shock within 15mins of it being applied to an open cut.
Trouble is – I can’t control them so I don’t fear them.
Does that make any sense?
My biggest fear is having a to still work when I’m 65, i.e., having a “job”. If it was my own business then things might be different. Even then, I would not ‘have’ to work. It would be my choice.
Three of my colleagues are over 65 and can’t afford to retire – semiretire even. They are deluding themselves by saying “what would we do with the free time?” I say enjoy yourselves.
Whenever I was afraid of anything my Father would tell me it was because there was something that I didn’t know or something was out of my control. Fear is not a bad thing, if you don’t let it stop you.
My biggest fear is always wondering if I am doing the right thing, the right way, at the right time, in the right place, and for the right reason. This fears seems to always be rooted in the lack of knowledge.
Embracing this fear has turned it into one of my greatest assets because it is a direct measurement of my faith in myself (everything in life I have control of) and a direct measurement of my faith in God (everything in life I have no control over). This fear empowers me to focus, plan, gather the needed knowledge, and take action to build my confidence and defeat the fear and gain another personal or professional victory in life.
Got fear…Build your confidence…Most of all TAKE ACTION!!!!
One of my fears is letting myself down. What I mean by that is not doing as well as I think I am capable of. So, for right not, it will be doing well on a test which could open a lot of doors for me. I do not want to look back at my life and know that I could have done so much more. I do not want to work at a job that I can not stand.
Hi, I have a social fear, i am afraid of standing in front of a large group and do a speech, i also get quite nervous when i have introduce myself, but it sounds crazy, oh yes if i walk into a room with many new people, i also get nervous.
“All fear is self created.” I found the truth in this statement to be immense. I too believe that fear comes from within. Throughout many experiences in my life I found that fear has often held me back. During my college career, I found that if I feared the results of an exam I often did worse then when I was confident and had minimal fears. I was also told by the woman in my life, that I had a fear of commitment. It was only when I let go of this fear that I became happy in my personal life. As for my professional life, I often find my fears holding me back in advancing to higher goals.
Fear does come from the inside. God himself did not intend for man to have fear, for fear takes power away from us. evidence of this is seen in the Bible, after Adam ate the fruit, and God walked in eden, their reaction was downright fear and shame. We can see that they only developed this character after eating the fruit. This is an important aspect that we must analyze. Now that success coaches are out there and Gurus as well, they will all tell you that fear must be totally destroyed before we can take full control of our reality.
To me fear is really paralyzing, it cuts off our wings, and dims our vision. On record we see those victorious men as fearless. Does this mean we should discard all forms of fear? yes. being cautions and being afraid are to different things, we can be cautious but never fearful.
Most people are afraid of success and they don’t know it. some are even taught that to be poor is to be closer to divine. It is weird how some people think that heaven only favors poor people.
Wherever Fear came from is not relevant. What matters is how we face fear. The greatest men who lived the earth forgot about fear the moment fear showed itself. They dominated fear became its master and through this they opened a world of wonder for themselves. Truly the Lord Helps those who help themselves.
Fear never benefited anyone. I recall stories of how old people would pass away regretting that they “should have” , “would have” And “could have”. Fear only paralyzes your body, and takes away your accomplishment leaving you in dreamland forever. remove fear now!
Most fear are rooted from childhood. Fear of failure, rejection etc. are all bumps on the road. Those who fail to get over these in the quickest way possible are left behind the race.
I was reading through the earlier comments, and struck by Stuart who said he doesn?t fear things he can?t control because ?if it happens I?ll deal with it then?. A good philosophy, not to fear the things you can?t control. But in reality we can control, or at least prepare for, many things we might otherwise fear, and by taking those steps, reduce the fear and anxiety. Time to stop browsing; have an errand to run!
Fear of failure is a big one. It?s so easy to say to oneself ?I don?t really want to do that? when in fact we?re afraid we?ll fail, so rather than try we walk away. Wouldn?t it be great if we all had a coach walking with us through life, telling us that we CAN do it, and telling us that we did alright, even if we didn?t quite achieve the objective?